Ah, painsomnia—the insomniac love child of chronic pain and sheer exhaustion. It’s that delightful state where your body is screaming for rest, but your nervous system is throwing an all-night rave you definitely didn’t RSVP to.
For me, painsomnia isn’t just a bad night here or there—it’s a lifestyle. My bedtime? Somewhere between 2 and 3 a.m. If I’m still awake at 3, there’s a good chance I won’t sleep at all. I’ve stopped fighting it. Instead of growing an anxiety garden about it, I’ve learned to surrender. Some nights, I binge-watch old shows. Some nights, I doom-scroll through apps I don’t even like. Other nights, I stare at the ceiling contemplating every bad decision I’ve ever made.
If you’ve ever found yourself caught in this fibro-fueled torture cycle, congratulations: you, too, may be the unwilling host of the most exhausting afterparty in existence. Let’s talk about it.
What Even Is Painsomnia?
Painsomnia isn’t just insomnia. It’s not “I stayed up too late watching Netflix” or “I had too much caffeine at 5 p.m.” It’s a full-body betrayal—where your muscles ache, your joints burn, and your nerves decide that now is the perfect time to remind you that everything hurts.
And the cruelest part? The less you sleep, the worse your fibromyalgia symptoms get. It’s a vicious, no-win cycle. Fibro makes deep sleep elusive, but without deep sleep, your body can’t heal. It’s like being stuck in a Groundhog Day loop of exhaustion—except there’s no Bill Murray, and no life lessons to be learned. Just you, in the dark, wondering if sleep will ever return to you like a long-lost lover.
Why Does Painsomnia Happen?
Blame it on your central nervous system—it’s basically running a broken security system that’s stuck in panic mode.
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Hyperactive Nerves: Fibromyalgia keeps your nervous system on high alert, making it impossible to relax fully. Your body thinks a tiger is lurking nearby when really, it’s just your weighted blanket.
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Pain Amplification: Fibro brains don’t process pain normally. Even minor aches can feel like they’ve been dialed up to eleven at night when there’s nothing to distract you.
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Disrupted Sleep Cycles: Deep, restorative sleep is a joke with fibro. Instead, you get light, restless sleep that barely counts—if you sleep at all.
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Temperature Sensitivity: Too hot? Too cold? If Goldilocks had fibromyalgia, she would’ve just given up and laid on the floor.
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Racing Thoughts: Your brain, deprived of serotonin, decides to fill the void by replaying every embarrassing moment from middle school. Thanks, brain.
Surviving Painsomnia: What Helps (Sometimes)
Let’s be honest—there’s no magic cure. But these strategies sometimes make the 3 a.m. battle a little less miserable:
Go with the Flow: If you’re not sleeping, use the time in a way that feels good—whether that’s journaling, meditating, or rewatching The Great British Bake Off for the tenth time.
Turn Down the Thermostat: Cool temps help with sleep. Make your bedroom an igloo if necessary.
Gentle Movement: Nothing intense—just some light stretching or slow pacing to loosen up stiff muscles.
Distraction, But Make It Cozy: Comfort TV, a lighthearted book, or soft music can help. Just avoid anything rage-inducing (looking at you, news apps).
Mindful Acceptance: Fighting painsomnia makes it worse. Some nights, surrender is the best option. Brew some tea, find a soft blanket, and let go of the pressure to force sleep.
A Gentle Reminder (For 3 A.M. You)
Painsomnia doesn’t mean you’re broken. It doesn’t mean you’re failing at rest. Some nights, sleep won’t come—and that’s okay. Rest happens in different ways.
So if you’re up again tonight, waiting for sleep to be delivered like an Amazon package that never arrives, know this: you’re not alone. You’ll survive this night, just like you’ve survived every other one. And tomorrow? Be gentle with yourself. Exhaustion isn’t weakness. It’s just proof that you’re human.
